...all are precious in His sight...

"Jesus loves the little children...all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white--they are precious in HIS sight...Jesus loves the little children of the world"

It's not a scripture...it's a simple song that most of us were taught as children. Our parents, church leaders, Sunday school teachers, or whoever else taught it to us to help us understand we are to love one another. Everyone. We're called to love everyone. THAT is scripture. 

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins" 1 Peter 4:8

I've kept silent over the issues of the world lately--in fact I tend to keep silent over the issues of the world most of the time--not because I am consenting to what's right or what's wrong...but because I do not feel led to speak on matters that I feel strongly about with hatred...which is the way most of the world is speaking right now. 

I've kept silent because there's no side that I stand on. I've kept silent because my opinion will more than likely be stomped on. 

You see I'm noticing something based on social media. Through Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram I am seeing amazing Christian leaders who are consenting to the WRONGFUL situations going on. I'm not talking about consenting to what happened to George Floyd. No...amazing Christian leaders are consenting to not spreading the gospel. Amazing Christian leaders are consenting to compassion OVER the gospel. 

That...is not what we as Christians are being called to do. However, because of a large amount of flack Christians are receiving over the circumstances in the world, the gospel is being thrown to the wayside and being replaced solely with compassion. 

Compassion is NOT wrong...please don't think I'm saying that. 

But God did NOT call us to throw His message aside to consent to worldly opinions. 

I've remained silent because where I stand will surely get me in trouble with people who I love. 

I've remained silent because I do not agree with the movements overtaking our country. 

I will more than likely lose followers and friends over this. However...if what I say is gospel-centered and related to what GOD has called me to, then those friendships aren't the ones I'm supposed to have. 

I'm not writing this because I want to start a debate. I'm not writing this to even have a conversation. I hate conflict and drama so please...know that I'm not here to start it. 

I'm here to state my stance. 

Everyone else gets to state their opinion...and I've been fearful to share where I stand because I don't want to lose people. I don't want to be stomped on. 

I'm not called to fear. 

"Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Colossians 4:5-6

I want to tread carefully. 

I don't, however, want to silence the gospel to appease the public. 

There is so much going on in the world. In our country. We've gone from panicking over COVID-19 to being outraged over the treatment of civilians. 

I, too, am outraged over the power trip some people will take. 

Some. 

Not all. 

What happened to George Floyd was sick. It was wrong. More than wrong. I do not have the words to give my utmost condolences to George Floyd's family. 

One cop chose to go on a power trip, and use his power against George Floyd and against his coworkers and other civilians who were standing around. 

Wrongful. 

One cop. 

What about the people who videoed the situation rather than taking action? 

They were fearful of the response that could have happened had they stepped up. 

Fear. 

NOTHING that has happened has been right. 

From the moment Derek Michael Chauvin placed his knee on the back of George Floyd's neck...and STAYED there as George Floyd said he could not breathe...cried for his mother...cried. Nothing was right. 

Chauvin's decision to do wrong plummeted our world into unsettled riots and protests to try to make things right. 

His decision to do wrong threw many into anti-racism and compassion. 

I GET IT. 

I am, however, noticing that it has turned the white race against the white race. 

It has made the white race feel bad for being white. 

Or tried to. 

It has made people decide it's okay to erase history. 

I am a history teacher. I teach my students each year that we learn about history so history doesn't repeat itself. 

If you want to take a stance then stop allowing history to repeat itself. 

If you want to take a stance as a Christian...stop allowing people to make you feel bad for who you are. Stop allowing people to stomp out the gospel and replace it with liberalism. 

God has called us to love. YES ABSOLUTELY. 

To love my brothers and sisters I should take every opportunity I am given to share the gospel with them. Whether they choose to believe or storm away is their decision. 

Christians, stop telling Christians not to take an opportunity from what's going on. 

Just the other day I was on twitter and I saw that an amazing Christian leader had liked the tweet of someone who said..."stop making protest groups a mission field. Don't go there trying to tell others about Christ. Go there to love on them and to show compassion"

WHAT? 

That is NOT okay! TAKE opportunities! 

There's so much I'm tired of. 

I'm tired of hearing the terms "White Privilege" and "Systemic Racism". 

White people didn't ask to be White. Please don't take that as a cop-out for what's going on. 

Yes, I'm as white as the next person is brown or black or porcelain or whatever else. 

Yes, I come from a history of slave ownership and racism. 

History. 

That history stopped. 

My family no longer owns slaves. 

And I am not racist. 

Not even systemically. 

I grew up in lower-income neighborhoods and I was friends with people of every color. I didn't see color as a kid. (Don't correct me for that one, I was little, and I didn't see a point in seeing color. I saw friendships). We were kind to each other. We played together, went on trips together, and we loved each other regardless of the color of our skin. 

I have never used the N-word. 

I have never seen people because of their socioeconomic status, or color. 

I still do not see people because of their color. That does NOT mean I do not recognize the hardships that people of other ethnicities have gone through. 

Where am I going with all this? 

I'm tired of seeing white people hate their color. We are not all racists. We are not all wrong. We were born who we are. Stop hating who God created you to be just because the pigment of your skin is less than that of others. 

I recognize there have been situations that have happened because of color. 

I recognize the wrong in the world. 

I see the need for action. 

I see the need for JESUS. 

I see the need for the spreading of the Gospel message, and I see the need for Christian leaders to stop allowing their beliefs to be suffocated because the world wants peace. 

I refuse to not spread the gospel. 

TAKE the opportunities when you see them and think for yourselves. 

Stop allowing other people's personal agendas to be pushed on you. 

I might lose friends for this. I might say some things that are wrong. It's not on purpose. I'm still learning and educating myself...I willingly will accept peaceful rebuke if I'm wrong. I will not debate. 

This is where I stand. 

He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,[a]
    and to walk humbly with your God?

Mental Health...Medication...and the Christian response

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It's always been a month that I hold near and dear to me. If you're someone who knows me, I've told my story endless times. The short version is I've dealt with mental illness since I was 6 years old. I have dealt with it my entire life in a family that doesn't understand, accept, or believe in mental illness. 

I spent most of my early adulthood comparing my mental illness to my mother's diabetes...comparing my having to take medication to her having to take medication. It never sunk in. 

I've also spent my life dealing with so-called believers in Christ who do not believe mental illness is real. 

It took me until last year to accept that medication is okay and that it does not deny the sovereignty of God. 

It took me until last year to have people in my life who are Christians who do believe in the reality of mental illness and who do believe in the necessity of good mental health. 

I tried twice to remove myself from medication because I thought taking medicine was taking away the holiness of God. 

Wrong-o!

So what exactly DOES the bible say about mental illness? Is it because of the sin in my life? Is it because of demons (as some believe)? 

To be honest illness in many ways is because of the fall of man. 

So yes...mental illness is because of sin. 

Not necessarily my own sin, though. 

There are many instances in the Bible where we see people suffering from despair, loneliness, anxiety, and depression. 

King David (Psalm 38:4), Job (Job 3:26), Elijah (1 Kings 19:4), and Jonah (Jonah 4:3). 

All suffered from depression. 

The Lord, however, answered them in His way. 

God has also given people in our lives the ability to create medication...and He's given us the ability to think and know that if we need medication for something, we should take it. 

It took 20 years to figure out the best medications for me. 

It wasn't easy. 

I do believe medication should be taken alongside counseling. 

I went off and on to a secular counselor--and then most recently to a biblical counselor. There's a major difference and a huge success rate with them coinciding. 

I've had people ask me, "can you tell a difference when you don't take your medicine?"

Yes. 

100% yes. 

Just like anyone who is sick...once a person stops taking their needed medications there is a difference. Maybe not after a day or 2, but in time the symptoms of the illness do show up again...sometimes worse than they did before treatment. 

My whole point in this post is that mental health should be taken seriously. Just like any other illness. And being a Christian does not negate mental illness. 

Being a Christian does not cause immunity to mental illness. 

It is real. It requires treatment. 

It is OKAY to seek treatment. 

It is OKAY to take medicine. 

It is OKAY to ask for help!

Almost 26 years after my first diagnosis with mental illness...I've finally found my voice on the issue. Not only have I found my voice--but WITH medication and WITH counseling and WITH constant surrender to the Lord, I finally feel healthy. 

Friends...if you know someone who is struggling, point them in the right direction. 

And if you need help finding the right direction, let me know...we'll talk...and I'll give you my own recommendations on good counseling and psychiatry. 

Take care of yourselves, friends, especially during this pandemic. 

Day 34...

It's day 34 of Quarantine...ask me why I know it's day 34? Because 34 days ago I left my school building for the last time, with the idea in my head that I would see my students again in 2 days. Friday the 13th, of all days, was the last day I saw the most amazing 6th graders around. While "quarantine" didn't technically start until that Monday...I count it. 
34 days (minus 5) of teaching online. Of checking emails, calling parents, helping students into the evening, and praying those I haven't heard from are okay. 
34 days of not being with my church family like I'd like to be. Of going to the church office on Sunday's to either "be the audience" or to help with the facebook feed. Zoom call after Zoom call, google meet after google meet, everything is taking place through technology. Ordering groceries online for curbside pickup, wearing masks (or trying to find a mask)...34 days of trying to figure out a new normal. 
That all sounds a little negative doesn't it? I had to get through the hard reality first. 
34 days of trying not to waste my quarantine. 
What does "waste my quarantine" mean? 
It means...making the most of this extra time I have to spend time with my savior when I complain all the time that I don't have enough time. This has been 34 days of nothing but time. 
Praying those hard prayers that I know don't go past His ears. 
Reading scripture after scripture, not only for encouragement, but for reality. 
Waking up each morning with a new song in my heart. 
Recognizing that this is nothing in the face of our future. Nothing in the face of reality. 
God has this. God has not left us. He is a just God who answers prayers in His time and in His way. He is not ignoring us. He is not being mean...He's being Just. He's being sovereign. 
34 days of unlimited time with Jesus. 
Yes, I'm having to work from home as a lot of us are having to do. Yes--many are still having to make the drive to work. We're living as though God pressed pause for a little bit though. 
Time seems to almost be standing still. He's taken our lives, He's rearranged (or wiped clean) our schedules. Really the only things on our schedules now might be work and zoom calls. 
So why waste this time? 
Take the opportunity to spend time with Jesus right now. In these minutes. When your mind starts to wander...when things start to seem overwhelming...when you're at the point of so much isolation that you can't stand yourself anymore...turn to Jesus. Crack open your Bible and read...there's going to be something in those pages that applies to today. Turn to Paul's letters and preachings. Start there! 
This is not 34 days of the worst life we could live. 
This is not 34 days so far of negativity and anxiety (though the world likes to make it seem that way).
Turn off the news. 
Stop reading articles about COVID-19 for a little bit. 
Start reading God's message to you and me. 
I guarantee life will look better if you do that instead of listening to all the opinions going on in the world. 

So yes, it's been 34 days so far. The world around us has shut down. Reality seems strange and different. We can't visit with people like we want. We can't go see our church family like we'd love to do. We are longing for those hugs again. And who knows just how much longer we will be in isolation? Regardless...God is with us. He's in control. He's on the throne. He knows the answers. 34 days is nothing to Him. 
Focus on the moment you are in. Focus on God's word. Turn to Him :). 

#Jesuschangedmylife, and things I'm grateful for during this time

Happy Easter Week everyone! I can't believe how quickly this week has come upon us. It feels like it was just Christmas and we were celebrating the birth of our Savior, now we're celebrating His resurrection! Which...we should always celebrate His resurrection and its importance. 

The other evening, I watched The Gospel Coalition's prayer time, and those of us who were watching were challenged to help during Easter Week to reach the lost by posting our testimonies on social media by using the hashtag #Jesuschangedmylife. 
The idea of this is that people will click the hashtag and they will see story after story of how Jesus changed people's lives...and prayerfully they'll also be moved to come to the Lord. 

I posted my video on youtube and shared it on Twitter...so I figured I'd also share it here. It's the jest of my Testimony without all the gorey details. 

I hope if you have time, you will also watch it!

In the midst of this I've also been thinking on how grateful I am for what I have in my life...I've made a list...and I challenge you all to do the same

I'm grateful for...

1. Waking up healthy each day

2. Still being able to have a job and work from home

3. Friends who check in on me and who allow me to still participate in community.

4. Technology! And it's allowance of us to "see" each other even during social isolation

5. Family who checks in through group text each day

6. My students, and their cheerful spirits during this time

7. The sovereignty of our Lord and his grace and mercy He gives us each day

I could name so much more...but these are the top things I'm grateful for! I pray you all can do the same!

What is God's response to COVID-19?

We are living in a time where people are fearful of what's going on in our world...a time that we really didn't see coming, didn't imagine coming...a time where we have said in the past "that'll never happen to us" or "well it's in other parts of the world, it won't reach the US". 
We have questions. We think that having questions is showing lack of faith, but as my pastor preached this morning through Habakkuk, having questions is not a lack of faith at all. 
If you'd like to hear my pastor's sermon from Habakkuk or ANY of his sermons, click here. 
Today's message was one that really hit home with what's going on in our world. 
My pastor said this morning "Times of uncertainty can produce a lot of worries in our heart."--This resonates so true through this time of uncertainty. We question, well how many more people is this virus going to hit? How many more will die? Why is God not hearing our cries? Why is He not healing our world? 
These questions...as my pastor said today...are not indicative of a lack of faith. 

Abraham, David, and Job all questioned...all "complained"...all implored to the Lord. But these questions have a way of drawing us closer to the Lord. 

I don't want to give the full sermon away, because I'd love for everyone to listen to it...but God will and is answering us. In His time and in His way. 
Just like when Habakkuk was asking His questions...God's answer was that He was Judging Babylon. But as Habakkuk continued to question and wait on the Lord, God softened his heart and finally answered with this..."the wicked will be punished and the righteous must live by faith"

God will answer our cries. In HIS timing. 

He has not forsaken us. He has not changed. He is still on the throne. He will reign and those of us who are in His will, we will be saved. 

I've learned so much not just from my pastor's sermon, but also from just being home...God is sovereign. 
He is every present in our times of trouble. 
He loves His people, and He longs for us to spend time with Him. 
Who knows? Maybe this pandemic is a way to bring His people closer to Him...maybe it's a way to draw people to Christ. Maybe, just maybe, it will save our world. 
People need hope. Our ONLY hope is in Jesus. 
Right now...in this pandemic...people are searching for any type of hope. My prayer is they will find Christ in the midst of all of this. 

Let us continue in prayer with each other. Let's pray for our world. Pray that God will continue to have his hand on this situation. Pray that those of us who are in Him will draw nearer to Him, and that despite loneliness we can remember He is with us. 

Let us continue to hold out hope. To hold on to our faith. 

God will respond. He will answer our questions. He will continue to hold us. Seek Him!

Trust God

I came across this on my timehop today--3 years ago, clearly something in my life was going on that provoked me to write this in my journal. I couldn't begin to tell you what it was now. Maybe if I go back to that journal, I could figure it out. 
Today, however, it provoked a new emotion. Not fear. Peace. As we are in the midst of a world crisis right now, we need to remember who the King of this world is. We need to remember who is ultimately in control. I have to say, that praise God, through this time I have not experienced fear. I trust my savior. 
Philippians 4:6-7 says "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

And Isaiah 43:1 says "Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine."

The Lord calls us His. 

He commands us not to fear, not to worry, not to be anxious, because He is our redeemer and He is in control. 

While the whole world seems completely chaotic and out of control right now, let us not forget who we belong to. Let us not forget the spirit who lives within us. 

Let us not forget who is IN control. 

My God is bigger than this virus. He is bigger than sickness. My God is in control. 

In the wake of COVID-19

Covid-19--the first pandemic I remember ever having to live through. In 31 years, I don't recall the world shutting down for a virus. Flu outbreaks have happened, H1N1, SARS, all these epidemics happened, yet none shut down our world. In this time of crisis, it seems as though our world is going one of two directions--complete fear and anxiety as to what is to come, or complete reliance on the Lord; remembering He is still on the throne. 
I've been in my house for 3 days now, with no physical contact with the outside world, and I can say that it does start to wear on one's emotional state. Even as an introvert, I still long for physical contact with people. Yesterday I even started having a pity party a little bit over what's going on in the world--but how selfish of me to do that. How completely selfish of me, when I'm healthy and I have food and a home and although I don't have physical contact, technology is a wonderful thing that keeps us together. Today I woke up humbled. Today I woke up and remembered all the blessings God has given me, and all the means of communication He has provided--and I was brought to my knees before the Lord. 
We all have stuff going on during this time of insanity. I'm working from home to ensure my students are receiving their education still. In fact I just finished a google hangouts session with 3 of my students. I discovered during that small session just how important my work is to some of my students. One of my students passionately expressed to me how bad she felt for Confucius who died believing he was a failure. She would have never expressed this passion in the classroom, but when it was just a few of us together, in the comfort of our homes, she showed me a side to her I'd never seen. That in itself is amazing. This pandemic is allowing me to get to know my students through a virtual outlet. 
I have other friends who are working still to make sure their businesses continue thriving, and others still who are working with the public because they are in the medical field. I pray for them to stay healthy, but I also pray I can respect their time and understand life is overwhelming and crazy. 
This pandemic is strange and new to all of us. While it can be a scary time, do not forget who is in control. Our savior loves us, He saw this coming, and He will win over it all. "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7 
Do not give up on who God is, and how in control He is. Pray. Don't just pray for yourself or your friends. Pray for our nation and our world. Pray that others would come to know Jesus during this time. Pray that this would bring us all closer to Him as we spend time in His word. There's no excuse not to spend time in God's word right now. Keep in touch with your friends and family. Everyone has things going on, but we all need human contact (even us introverts). 
Give to relief organizations, and to churches. 
Serve those who need you if you can. 
Ultimately, remember who God is during this time, and who you belong to. 
The coronavirus can be scary--but we are not to be in fear, for Christ is by our side. 

Routines

This morning as I drank my coffee and I spent time in the word, I couldn't help but be thankful for what has become my new routine. Although most routines happen at the same time each day--mine happens when I can sit down and do it. I'm in love with what God has given me.
I sit down each day with my prayer journal, and I write out my prayers. I love that I have come into this new place of writing what I pray--1) it allows for me to go back and see what God has answered but 2) it allows for me to really get in depth with my prayers and for me not to lose focus as I tend to do.
Once i've had my prayer time, I move on to my daily devotional which comes from Paul Tripp's book "New Morning Mercies". I love sitting down each day and hearing exactly what God needs to say to me for that day--I've noticed a pattern as of late--most of what I'm doing in my devotional ties together with what I'm doing in bible study, and it's beautiful. Just yesterday I wrote about wisdom and I wrote about some verses from James--today I found myself in those same verses during my devotion time as it talked about Envy. Read James 3 when you get the chance!
When I finish with my devotional I spend time doing scripture writing. You can get a scripture writing plan for each month from here
I love the scripture writing because it allows for me to really hone in on the scripture and focus in on what God's word has to say. Usually each month there is a theme. But it keeps my heart focused and my mind focused on God's word.
Then I normally go into my Bible Study Fellowship time and I love that time because it's so in depth and beautiful.
God is really teaching me about who He is through this routine. I sit with my coffee and just take in the beauty of who our Savior is. I love it. I love knowing my savior loves me at all times, no matter the circumstances. No matter what--I am His.
If I miss a day of my routine--He forgives me.
He loves us all.
He longs for us to spend time with Him.
And can I tell you something? I long for that time too! While I'm teaching each day I can't wait for a break where I can spend time in God's word. My bible goes with me to school. And if I have no meetings during my planning period, then I spend time in God's word. And it's always beautiful.

What's your routine?

Whose Wisdom do we seek?

Who is wise among us? Wisdom is spoken of throughout the words of the Bible. From Isaiah, to James, to 1 Corinthians--we see Wisdom as a key element in the word of God. As I'm learning about things in my life, where I'm seeking out wisdom in these areas, I'm reminded of whose wisdom I am seeking.

Isaiah 5:21 says "Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes" while 1 Corinthians 2 says "...and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God".

Those who are wise in their own eyes will be humbled by God with the foolish. We should not seek out our own wisdom or man's wisdom, but the word of God and the power of the Spirit.

I say all this to say that while I'm seeking out what I should do about situations in my life--I pray for wisdom from God, not from myself. While I'm being held accountable by people in my life--I should seek out God's word and what He ultimately has to say about the situations in my life. Man is not God. I should not idolize people. So when I'm finding help for what I'm trying to be healed from, I must always seek out the wisdom and power of the Holy Spirit.

We're all called to this. While God gives us wisdom from himself, man is not Christ. Man cannot save us, or heal us. Only Christ can do that. So draw near to God. Lean on the Holy Spirit and seek out the power that is given to us only by the Spirit. While wisdom is good, it must be found in the right place.

Draw near to Him.

What are we seeking?

Pleasure. A feeling of happy satisfaction or enjoyment.

We all seek it. We all find it in food, in sex, in exercise, in whatever gives us contentment. Some of us seek pleasure in places that cause us to be overweight, underweight, in debt....the list could go on. We seek pleasure in things that are disloyal. Things that will eventually lose their buzz.

Here's the kicker--God did not create us to find pleasure in this world. We were not designed to find pleasure in food when we're stressed, or to find contentment in our worldly desires. We were designed to find joy and peace in Christ.

So when we're stressed. When we are in need of something that will give us enjoyment, we shouldn't be seeking after the things of this world. All of those pleasurable experiences will end. We will stop finding our contentment in things once enjoyable. Christ, however, and the joy and peace we find in Him, is never ending. It never ceases.

We were created by an awe inspiring creator to worship Him. Not creation. He created us to bring glory to Him. At the end of the day our joy and the fulfillment of our desires should be found in Him.

So short and sweet...seek Christ. Find joy in Christ. For He did not create us to find happiness, but he did create us to find joy.

The Mortification of Sin

Sin. An immoral act that is a transgression against God.

We all do it. We have since the fall of man. Since darkness entered the world and killed the perfection that existed, we were born sinners.

In psychology Lawrence Kohlberg says we are innately bad.
Innately we are sinners.

So, then, what is it that we can do to come before our Holy God?
Nothing on our own.

However, there is good news for us innate sinners. God sent himself in the form of man to take the immorality and the sin and the "bad" upon him. So He did. And since then, since Jesus Christ came into this world and rescued us from what we deserve, we have been able to freely approach the throne of God.

But we still sin.

Jesus coming into the world saved us, yes, but it did not take away the temptation of Sin. It did not take away the fact that until the day that He fully returns and takes us all home we will continue to do things that are immoral against God.

We must,as humans, desire to and pray for the fullness of Christ and the Holy Spirit in us. So when these temptations arise we can fight against them, because there is always a way out of the temptations. In fact, temptation itself is not sin. We do not sin until we give into that temptation.

So what is the mortification of Sin?

Mortification is death.

So the death of sin. Only those of us who are regenerate and who have been made righteous before God have the ability to mortify sin. What does that mean? That the sin no longer exists? That we grab it, kill it, and we are done with it? No. Then we will just replace it with something else. We must suffocate the sin in our lives. Especially those perpetual sins that occur again and again. The ones we struggle with. The ones that may go quiet and dormant for a little while, but then in the midst of our peace, they appear again. We must go to Christ, admit and repent, and never turn to those sins again. Repentance. Admittance. Recognition. Not in that order :)

The mortification of Sin means taking control of the sin in our life through the grace of Jesus Christ. Through His power. We are powerless on our own. However, we are FILLED with the Holy Spirit who has come on our behalf and the Holy Spirit mediates for us in this life. So when we are tempted, we take control. With God. We allow God to take control by stepping away and saying "Lord I cannot do this on my own, but YOU, Lord YOU can"

Perpetual Sin.

Sin.

It's dirty. It's disgusting. Repulsive in the sight of God.

I sin. And it repulses me. We all sin. And it is repulsive to the Lord.

But he rescued us! He loves us! He sent His son for us! And we may approach Him in the midst of the repulsion.

Kill the sin. Suffocate it. Take hold of it. Turn from it. Give it to Christ. And don't return to it.

Being reconciled to Christ

I always start a new blog and I fail to keep up with it. I, recently, however have wanted to truly share my thoughts on what I’m learning as I devour the scriptures. On this first day of February, 2020 I sat here doing my scripture writing, looked back in my notebook, and realized it had been one full year since I started scripture journaling. And I realized, too, I have a lot of thoughts.

So here goes.

My prayer is someone will come upon this blog and be encouraged.

In the last year I’ve been so off and on about being in Gods word and truly learning from Him. I’ve gone back and forth between doing well with devouring scripture and not falling into perpetual sin, to backsliding and not being in His word and falling into sin habits that should’ve disappeared a long time ago, so I thought.

But I’m human. I’m a sinner. We all are. What I HAVE learned from this is that when we are so deep in Gods word, and so saturated by what He has to say to us, we don’t have time or the desire to fall into our same sin patterns. I’ve seen this in myself even in the last month. I’ve been in the word every day since the new year started. But there’s a difference between being in the word and truly listening to God. I can read scripture all day long, but if my heart is not open to what God has to say, then my reading is worthless.

I praise God he has placed people in my life who hold me accountable and who I can’t help but be honest with. Transparency is so beautiful in the body of believers. When we are transparent and honest with each other, accountability comes in and strips us of pride. So in the midst of reading scripture I’ve still fallen into sin. Which is where my community comes in.

In the midst of church and sermons and Bible Study Fellowship there’s been a reoccurring theme. Community. It’s pertinent to our walks as Christians. God did not create us to be alone. In community we hold each other up. We share with each other. We point each other to scripture and we keep each other safe from harm. Praise God for the community He’s given me. Within this community I can’t help but be transparent and my transparency has led me to a Puritan book from the 1600’s. The unabridged version of “the mortification of sin” by John Owen.
This is not just a leisurely read, but it’s something you have to chunk and chew on.
In this book John Owen speaks of sin in such a way that it is something that must be killed in our lives. We have to stop leaning on ourselves and our desires and we have to start leaning on Christ and ridding ourselves of the things that kill our soul.
Instead of allowing sin to kill us slowly, we must kill sin.
“Mortification from a self-strength, carried on by ways of self-invention, to the end of a self-righteousness, is the soul and substance of all false religion in the world.”

Self.

We are led into sin by temptation and by reliance on self rather than God.

The Bible tells us we must die to ourselves. Maybe it’s not just about the mortification of sin, but also the mortification of self.

So as I read this book I’m reminded to be in the word. To mortify the underlying power of sin in my life. To be transparent.

I’m falling in love all over again with who God is. By diving into His word and saturating myself with its truth. By being reminded that sin and self must die. I’m desiring Gods perfect and holy will in my life, but I’m also desiring it for others in my life. I’m journaling my prayers and lifting up my community in such as way that I desire for them to be overcome by Gods good and perfect will in their own lives.

But this is not about me and what Gods doing for me. Rather it’s about Christ and what I can do for Him as I spend time learning from Him.

I want this blog to be about God and his healing power and what I’m learning from Him.

I want it to be a place of transparency where as I learn from God I share what I’m learning so others can see His mighty power.

So please, if you come across this blog, share it. Share your thoughts with me. And let’s also build a community of believers here where we can converse about who God is in our lives.